Man, Dark Souls has a lot of flops when it comes to bosses, but there are some epic ones too. These guys are not the epic ones.
Join us as we forge ahead in our boss ranking journey! #67-64!
We move on from some of the series' cringiest bosses into some 'meh' territory. I can't wait to discuss some of my favorites!
Four more bosses for you to "enjoy"... they'll just have to get better from here, right?
Well, maybe not today's batch. You'll just have to read for yourself!
Time to kick off the list! Each entry I'll give some lore and my personal opinion on the boss, and then at the end Scotty has added his opinion on them as well! Here we go!
79) Ancient Dragon
Dark Souls II
Once you've reached the Dragon Shrine towards the end of the game, you are met with an enormous dragon who gives you a key item allowing you to visit memories in special locations. The main theory is that Aldia, the Scholar of the First Sin, attempted to create a dragon of his own. Apparently, he succeeded.
The Ancient Dragon doesn't attack you, remaining docile unless you damage it. And doing so would be a huge mistake.
I find this fight to be utter bull. I can barely land a hit or two on this guy before I'm burned to a crisp, so I usually just get the item and leave him be. This is the only boss in the series I've never actually beaten (not counting the DLC I haven't played), and I'm not sure I ever will.
Then again, should I expect anything less from an Everlasting Dragon that it took literal gods (plural!) to bring down?
78) Royal Rat Authority
Dark Souls II
Deep in the cave of Doors of Pharros resides the Rat King. In order to prove yourself worthy of meeting him, you must overcome his challenge, which involves defeating his bodyguard.
Guess who doesn't give a rat's ass what the Rat King wants? This guy.
This fight sucks so bad. The worst part is right at the beginning where you face off against four normal enemy rats. No big deal right? WRONG!! These jerks will inflict toxin on you so fast it's not even funny. If you get the status condition, you're pretty well hosed.
If you can get past that bit, the rest of the fight is ok. The Authority (who is totally a dog, not a rat) fights just like Sif from the first game. This means that if you stay underneath it and dodge halfway decently, you should be fine. Overall a disappointing and frustrating boss.
The one bright side to this fight is that the respawn point is literally outside his room.
77) Belfry Gargoyles
Dark Souls II
Dang, that's three in a row for DS2. But with around 40 bosses in the game, there's bound to be a doozy or two (or a bunch, but spoilers).
I don't know what the lore with these guys is. There's a bell. They're gargoyles. I guess they at least got that right. This is almost literally a copy/paste from DS1's Bell Gargoyles, (who you won't be seeing on here for a while) but they have FIVE enemies to fight instead of just two. Woah! How innovative!
It's super easy to get ganked in this fight. I remember having a hard time finding good opportunities to heal and I'd usually dodge out of one's way just to get hit by another. This fight also sort of started the concept of not locking on all the time for me, so that I could try and keep track of everything going on.
I'm pretty sure most people probably agree with my opinion on this entry. If these guys are your favorite boss... never mind. I'm convinced that's not possible.
76) Curse-Rotted Greatwood
Dark Souls III
DS2 gets a small break for me to discuss my least favorite boss from the third game, Curse-Rotted Greatwood, or as I like to call it, TREEZ NUTS!!
Seriously, this thing is disgusting. While I actually like the concept of a boss having weak points to attack for meaningful damage (which makes me feel like I'm playing Resident Evil!), I can't appreciate this guy. I just want him out of my life as fast as possible.
Lore wise, the inhabitants of the Undead Settlement worship this tree for some reason. Maybe they're praying it'll go away. I dunno.
Anyway, this guy isn't hard, but has some obnoxious moves to deal. First off, he enjoys flopping on his rear trying to crush you, hitting you with its weird crotch hand thing, or spewing what I can only describe as acidic diarrhea all over the place. Excuse me while I go wash my eyes...
Don't bop him on the nose or you will be sorry....
Possibly the worst "boss" fight of the series. I would say don't whack him and move on.
Royal rat authority:
This dude sucks.....not because he's that hard or anything, but because he feels unoriginal, and kinda cheap. This is a good spot on the list for him.
This is essentially a gang attack that sucks. Nothing special but to see here but endless annoyance. I would suggest dodging and ranged attacks. Also a good spot for these guys on the list.
Curse rotted greatwood:
Yeah this dude is gross. Stab him in his family jewels until he grows a hand out of them and stab him some more. He isn't terribly fun and worth of dragging up the rear of this list.
If you've managed to trudge through the difficulty of the Dark Souls series and come out on top, you know that one of the major factors in these games is the bosses. Some are amazing, some are terrible, others fall somewhere in the middle.
Over the next few weeks I'm going to be ranking (almost) all of the bosses from Dark Souls 1, 2, and 3. There are a few that are missing, because I haven't played the DLC for the first two games (I do plan to someday!). So I won't be including:
I also haven't played either Demon's Souls or Bloodborne, so those bosses won't be included either.
This leaves me a total of 79 to discuss! Look forward to this starting tomorrow!